This post is going to be different from my other ones, because I am not talking about what I did the last time it is about how I feel , I want to talk about homesickness.
I have been homesick in the last few weeks and I can tell it is not a great feeling. In fact to me it is the worst feeling ever. It real sucks when you are sitting somewhere and everything's fine and all out of sudden you start missing home, your family, friends at home. Or simply a situation pops into your mind and you start thinking about home and start missing it. The problem about it is that I can't do anything about it. Well at east not that much.
Once I just had to think about Martin because of some reason and got homesick, just a word or a action can remind me of home and make me sad. It can get really worse and I started thinking about home, going home because it hurt so bad. I just miss simple things like talking with my friends not having to think about what to say, being fully understood, siting in the living room with Mama and Papa and just listen to the newest news from Mama, talking about movies and actors with Papa, or just looking out of the window and watching people walking by. But luckily I have a wonderful host family which manages it to cheer me up again when I start missing home and talk with me about it. That makes it a lot easier.
In school I still have troubles finding friends and talking with others, it's not easy talking with someone when you don't understand everything, or don't know what to say. And during the periods you don't really can talk to them because the teacher wants us to be quiet, and after school I also don't have time to meet with friends because I have practice until 5:30 and then homework is still waiting
I found good friends in exchange students with which it's easier to talk to because they go through the same as I do and can understand what I am going through because they go through the same, we can
exchange our feelings about homesickness, what is strange or new to us. I found good friends in Wasilia and Rost which helped me seeing the good sides again when I was or am sad. When I'm with
my classmates i often feel left out , they don't understand how it is being in a new , foreign country,
how hard it is to find friends, to understand everything or being understood.
Yes it is true and now I finally believe all the returnees, homesickness sucks. But I know it will get better and my homesickness will fade away.
Like you may can tell, I was homesick as I wrote this and still I'm fighting with it but it's getting better :)